Saturday, January 29, 2011

Starting over...again

The last 2 weeks have been a complete write off.  Dad died last week, so I've had 2 whirlwind trips to Ontario.  While I eat fairly well when I'm at my Mom's, I also seem to drink alcohol a lot more.  I did a lot more physical work, shoveling and hauling wood, but I didn't lose any weight.  My Mom is a great influence though.  She's maintained her ideal weight for some time now.  She's also been a great example of how to eat properly, and is even better since she was diagnosed with diabetes and became dependent on daily insulin injections.

And I may be on my way to becoming diabetic myself.  I had some blood work done last week (on the one day I was home between trips to Ontario).  The blood work was supposed to be follow up from my pre-New Year's Eve fibroid episode, but the Dr also wanted to get a fasting  blood sugar level since we had discussed me being over weight and wanting to get in better shape.  While we were in Ontario the office called to set up an appointment to discuss the results.  When I called them back they said that it was to discuss my glucose level. 

Mom did test my blood sugar on her meter one morning before I ate and it was 5.6, well within the acceptable range for a fasting level.  It will be interesting to see what it was at the clinic.  Either way, I'm going to try and watch my sugar intake as well as my overall calorie count each day.  I say that with the lure of a Cinnabon calling me from the counter.  I did so well today with food choices, but now of course I'm hungry and made the mistake of buying them, supposedly for Hilary and Liam.  I KNOW that I have no will power, and I need to stop setting myself for failure.

The Dr appointment is Monday morning so I guess I will have more answers and directions then.  I also need to get back to exercising.  I did a lot of walking today while out doing errands, so it's a start.  A small start, but I'll take it. 

Monday, January 10, 2011

Weigh in and Dr appt

I weighed in a 246 Sunday morning. I thought for sure that I would have gained, given the horrible week I had.  So overall, I'm putting this one in the win column. 8 pounds to go to get to my first goal of losing 10 pounds!

I had my follow up appointment with my family doctor today to review the test results from the ER.  There is only 1 fibroid and it is small, 1.5 cm on the posterior wall of my uterus.  The doctor doesn't think that it was the cause of the pain, but simply coincidence that they found it during the CAT scan.  She suspects that the pain has no diagnosable cause, and as long as it doesn't happen again, there isn't anything to be done.

The CAT scan also showed that I had gallstones.  I had suspected this for awhile as I get these horrible bursts of pain right in that area every now and then.  And same thing, nothing medical to be done about it right now, unless it becomes severe.  She did say to watch my diet for fatty foods as that can aggravate gallstones.

Which brought us to the weight loss portion of the appointment.  She calculated my BMI to be 36:

BMI is between 35-39.99 (Obese Class 2)
If you have a BMI of 35-39.99 your risk of weight-related health problems and even death, is severe. 

She would like me to get down to at least 200 lbs, but ideally she wants me to be around 180 (which still puts me at Overweight on the BMI scales).    She's recommending that Hilary and I join Weight Watchers - me to lose weight and Hilary because she does all the shopping/cooking and for moral support.  Hilary and I are so not joiners!  I think we will keep trying this on our own, and if after a month I'm not seeing any decent improvement, then we will look into joining a program.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

It really is time to hunker down and get serious about this getting fit business. Up until now it’s been something that I’ve been aware of, especially when I’m out of breath from climbing a flight of stairs, or not able to play with Liam the way I want to. But none of that seemed to give me the motivation that I needed. Sure I had lost about 10 pounds early in 2010, but without CONSTANT VIGILANCE I slipped off the wagon and was sitting under it munching on cookies. The thought of getting healthy would creep into my consciousness every now and then, but was easily shooed away.

Well last Thursday gave me the motivation. After a week of cramps and general discomfort that I attributed to a heavy period, I started feeling worse around 6:00 PM when we were out for dinner. I wanted to buy a new camera afterwards, so I pushed the pain aside and carried on. During the bus ride home, things continued to get worse, but I still convinced myself that I was fine and it would pass. By the 3 block walk home from the bus stop, I was nearly in tears. But I was alone with Liam as Hilary had stopped off to pick up her asthma prescription. I didn’t want to scare Liam and I really didn’t want to make a scene at the side of the road, even though all I really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. Liam was a trooper! He held my hand, talked reassuringly to me – “just a little bit further Mama”, “pretend it’s like getting the flu shot and don’t think about the hurt, think about something happy” – all the way home. He sat outside the bathroom door while I doubled over in pain and let the tears and yelps of pain come. Once Hilary got home and I realized that I could not just walk this off, I admitted defeat and we headed to the ER. Our amazing friend Sandy drove us, then brought Liam home with her once we saw how long the wait was going to be. It was a good call since I ended up being there for 18 hours!

After all the tests and the waiting and the poking, I left with a diagnosis of uterine fibroids. By the time I actually saw a doctor (at 5:00 in the morning) the pain had started to fade on its own. I was pain free for 2 days, but now the feeling of pressure and cramping is starting up again. I have an appointment to see my family doctor next Monday so that we can start the discussions of what this means and what can be done. Because I don’t know that I could survive pain like that again.

All of this left me with the knowledge that I need to get in better shape. Being overweight can be a cause of fibroids, and really, I’m just not healthy over all. So I need to concentrate on the whole – weight, exercise, mental and emotional health. In the past, I’ve only ever concerned myself with weight and calorie control. I would exercise a bit as a means of losing weight, but never with any sort of regularity. It’s a bit of a vicious circle – I need to exercise to lose weight and get healthy, but I feel that I can’t exercise till I lose weight and get healthier.

I’m back to tracking my food and calories, as I find that if I don’t write it down and keep track of it, I very easily get into the habit of snacking and eating too much. I’m actually not finding it that hard to cut down my calories to the 1800 mark, and I am making better choices – fruit vs. cookies – but I also don’t feel like I’m denying myself anything. The 100 calorie cookies and chocolate bar snacks are the best inventions ever!

Now I need to find away to be more active. I’m trying to walk at lunch every day, weather permitting. But once I get home at 5:30, I’m wiped! The idea of going for a walk or working out is overwhelming. I don’t have a solution to this, but I’m going to try!